A Carer’s Story about progression of her mother’s dementia by Deepika Walpita Ph.D.

It is my hope that my story, will help other caregivers to recognize the signs of dementia and take appropriate steps to enhance the quality of life of their loved ones.

During a visit in early 2004 I noticed that my mother, Charlotte, showed some signs of memory loss, which I thought was characteristic of the normal ageing process.

In December 2004, when I reviewed my mother’s bank accounts I found that she had been withdrawing money regularly but could not remember how she had spent it. My mother, had always been very methodical in her housekeeping and book-keeping. We had a long discussion about the challenges she was facing with daily activities.She confessed to me that it was getting difficult for her to manage the household and keep track of her finances, etc., and preferred if I would agree to take over those responsibilities.

In the latter part of 2005 my mother started to display signs of aggressiveness – she would get angry and scold people for no apparent reason. However, there were those times when she was passive and depressed. At first I thought these extreme emotions were due to her getting old and having lead a stressful life.

In November 2006, my mother went down with the flu. I found that the progression of dementia had rapidly worsened. She was incontinent and was confused between day and night. She kept dwelling on the past and spoke of relatives who had died many years ago as if they were still alive. My mother thought I was the substitute nurse and did not recognize me as her daughter. She accused me of stealing her clothes. I realized that my mother had lost a significant functional component of her brain, and it was obvious that she did not recognize me as her daughter anymore. I was sad and devastated to hear my mother speak to me as though I was a stranger.

During our conversations, I would notice that my mother’s speech was getting increasingly distorted. Her sentences were fragmented.

During a visit in June 2007 I decided to move my mother and brother to a quality Elder Care facility. My mother seemed happy and referred to the Elder Care facility as her new home. I returned to the US after helping my mother and brother adjust to their new environment. No sooner I got home, I was informed that my mother was having behavioural problems. I desperately needed help. I browsed the Internet and found the website for the Lanka Alzheimer’s Foundation. I contacted the Foundation, which was very prompt to respond. Volunteers, including a professional nurse visited my mother and provided the carers with in-house training and some understanding of dementia. Volunteers continue to visit my mother regularly and keep in touch with me via email, making assessments and recommendations on how we may improve my mother’s quality of life.

When I visited my mother in November 2007, I found her very happy and well adjusted in the place she now calls “home”. It was such a joy to see my mother so happy. I wish I had relocated her and connected with the Lanka Alzheimer’s Foundation much earlier.